Mediocrity.US » Entertainment

Social Networks are Killing Porn

David Barach — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:46:40 +0000

Bill Tancer, general manager of global research at Hitwise, writes in his new book Click: What Millions of People are Doing Online and Why It Matters that surfing for porn has dropped to about 10% of searches from 20% a decade ago, particularly among the 18-24 age group, only to be replaced by social networking sites. At first glance, this seems like great news—instead of the anti-social activity of sitting alone in front of a monitor masturbating, kids are being more social. That’s until you remember a couple things about social networking sites.

You’re still sitting alone in front of a monitor. Being social requires other people being present otherwise it’s called corresponding.
Instead of performances from paid “actors”, sites like MySpace provide the perhaps more titillating experience of “real people” with whom you can flirt and swap photos. If you want online sex you can get it from social networking as much as from porn. It’s still about sex. Alone.

Are we seeing a change in behavior? Not really, just a change in tastes. Money is being shifted away from porn to the more palatable social networking, yet our anti-social habits remain the same.

Tancer has more good news. America’s obsession with celebrities and image hasn’t slowed down a bit. Celebrity websites garner more attention than sites devoted to religion, politics, well-being and diets combined—with no sign that this is waning. In fact, web-surfers were far more interested in searching for images of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin than for information on her policies.

Voyeurism is still king, not matter how it’s packaged.

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Disney, Hockey, Putin, and the Ice President

David Barach — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 05:22:20 +0000

A brilliant parody of what Disney’s take on Sarah Palin would be:

And then there is this CBS version:

I’m really not sure which one is more frightening absurd!

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No Frakkin’ Way

David Barach — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:28:52 +0000

McCain and Tigh were both decorated pilots and wars prisoners that were tortured. They’re both crotchety old men, and McCain has had so much of his skin replaced, he’s practically artificial, like Tigh.

Palin is just a hockey mom who ended up innocently in power, just like Roslin, a teacher who didn’t expect to find herself in politics. They both have a take no prisoners attitude (which wouldn’t have and probably won’t work out well for McCain, or Tigh). Both are strong opponents of abortion, and they both look great in glasses, not Tina Fey great, but close.

Read more about the Tigh * Roslin campaign.

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The Voice of America Has Been Silenced

David Barach — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:15:22 +0000

No, not the US government’s international propaganda machine, but a voice that people actually listen to. Don LaFontaine, the voiceover artist who’s done just about every trailer for every movie that’s ever made a buck, died at age 68 in Los Angeles. Everyone knew his voice, but only after doing this GEICO spot just a few years ago did people know his face.

He was a crowning example of an American who did what America does best. May he rest in peace.

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Winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

David Barach — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:10:59 +0000

You probably never hear of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, but you certainly know the opening line of his novel Paul Clifford from 1830 – “It was a dark and stormy night.” San Jose State University holds a contest in bad writing and this year it was won by Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer, with this opening from his non-existent novel:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped ‘Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.’

So, here’s the thing. What you have just read is truly terrible, awful writing, but it’s so remarkably good at being terrible that it’s fantastic. This is mediocrity at its best, and it brought tears to my eyes. Not the horrible writing, but that a California state university sponsors a competition in mediocrity. A genuinely American competition. More American than baseball.

You’ve all been to bookstores and browsed through the bestsellers. This kind of writing sells. If it sells, then it’s fulfilling our capitalist dreams. Mediocrity incarnate. In fact, Garrison Spik, short of having a bestseller of your own, you have come as close to the American Dream as anyone (meaning, not that close – you still need to write that bestseller).

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Do All Roads Really Lead to Rome?

David Barach — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:53:35 +0000

Let’s say you’re the mayor of Rome and you are convinced that you need to attract more tourists. You don’t have much to work with, except the magnificent ruins of an ancient empire, the splendor of the Vatican, museums full of priceless art, amazing food and accommodations, fashion, you know, the usual. No, you need something really special.

I know, how about a theme park? It sure worked for Paris with Euro Disney. Tourists love theme parks. And the best part, is that you can will be able to see theme park versions all of the major attractions of Rome, without having to deal with traffic or reality. Genius!

But it looks like the mayor’s magnificent plan will be foiled by the evil Lazio Regional Government (of which Rome is the capital), because fun hating council member Claudio Mancini “says no to Americanization”. Either way, they are both paying us a huge compliment in proclaiming that the appeal of mediocrity is more powerful than the real remnants of ancient Rome.

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So She Can’t Sing. She Sure Is Cute

David Barach — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:25:17 +0000

No, I’m not referring to Britney Spears, or Ashlee/Jessica Simpson, I’m referring to nine-year-old Lin Miaoke who lip-synched a great performance at the Olympic opening ceremonies. According to Reuters, US bloggers are enraged that the Chinese swapped out Yang Peiyi, the real singer, because she had crooked teeth. How dare the Chinese ruin such a beautiful moment with such beauty!

You’d think that I’d be annoyed with the self righteousness of American bloggers for making such a fuss over something that we do all the time. Have any of these furious bloggers ever watched TV news? The reporters/anchors are HOT! As Samantha Bee calls them – NILFs. Are they the best journalists? Who cares. That’s what the off camera writers are for. No, I’m not annoyed with the cited bloggers for their double standard, I salute them. Here’s why:

The Chinese have taken our talent to manufacture mediocre crap and raised it to an art form
The Chinese are opening a new coal power plant a week, and are now better at polluting than us
The Chinese execute more criminals than we do

Our noble bloggers should be seething. The Chinese are overtaking the US at everything that we do best, and now they are overtaking us at our prized mediocrity. If they can manufacture cuteness better than us, where will it end!?

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